The course of attraction..

AUM

16th April 2001 , this was the date which i would never ever forget in my life. Something happened on this date. Some thing i would never forget. Something no one would forget. I could have never imagined that this would ever happen to me. I didnt know how to react to this. I was speechless. I didnt know what was going t happen next. All i knew was it has happened at that moment. You wanna know what happened ?

Let me go back , 16th April 2001 , it was the time when our college vacation had started. Summer had already started in India. I never wanted to go out atleast not in afternoon. I dont know whether it was my destiny that i had to do this. Since my vacations were going idle. I thought of joining a computer programming classes. I had 2 months with me. So good enough time to finish this course assuming i would do it on a daily basis and anyways i had decided to do it on a daily basis. At that time we had a famous institute who had their branch very near my residence. So i approached them for this course. I wanted to learn C++ at that time. Considered the mother of all languages i knew it was important for me to learn this language. So i went ahead. The gave me the details of the course , faculty , timings and the fees. Everything looked fine and i filled in the form to enroll myself.  The batch was going to start 3 days later.

And the day arrived when the classes were going to start.I got ready in my denims and t-shirt. Got my college bag with a notepad and a bottle of water. I was planning to eat outside that day so didnt bother mom for lunch. And after 20 mins i reached the institute. Curiously waiting for my batch mates . I Love meeting new people. Always making new friends. And suddenly my eyes went to a room where i had filled my enrollment form. And i was stunned for that moment. There was this lady whom i had given the enrollment form and sitting in front of her was an angel. Yes She was an angel when i looked at her for the first time.She had innocent looks , hairs tied around with a pin. I said to myself. How can someone be so beautiful. Is it really possible, or am i a dreaming. I pinched myself to reconfirm . ” Ouch “. And i was not dreaming. I got this confirmed i was attracted to her. I was on a course of attraction.  Funny isnt it.

We all sat together it was our first lecture. The lecture began with a brief introduction of the faculty. And then later each one of us introduced ourselves. So here was the chance i got to know her name what she was doing and where she lived. Gosh ! i was getting this information readily available . Her name was Supriya and guess what she lived in a apartment very near to mine. I told myself ” You stupid where were you looking all these days , were you blind ” . Was i falling for her. I dont know. The answer was yes but i dont know why i was not accepting it. Ok so finally the lecture began on the basics and some important concepts. After 2 hours we got a break. Although i was completely concentrating in the lecture i still wanted to talk to her. Once we went on a break , i went to her and said ” Hi This is Shwetal ” . She replied with a smile ” Supriya here ” .   I wanted to die for that smile. But no i want to live with the feeling of always getting to see that smile.

” So what do you do ” Said Supriya . ” I am currently studying and live in an apartment very near to your house ” . I really dont know what made me say that. Why did i suddenly told her about my apartment. How stupid i was . ” Can we go out for lunch  ? ” I said with a hesitation . “ok ” She said with a affirmation. I was damn excited. Sam you have hit 2 goals in first half . Thats amazing. We went to mcdonald which was just around the corner. I just had Rs 200 in my pocket . I still remember during that time mcdonalds was not that expensive . I think in Rs 100/- you treat someone along with you. So i decided to treat her. Was that gonna be a thrid goal ? My mind said go for it shwetal. Dont stop yourself.

” So what do you wanna have ” I said with a style as if  i recently bought Microsoft. ” A mcchicken with cheese and fries ” She said. Well that was not too much a sigh of relief. We took our order and took a comfortable seat. All this time we simply kept talking about ourselves. Hobbies , likes dislikes , those typical questions that always come.  I was enjoying watching her eat. It was a great feeling that there is someone who is always there to accompany me. After the lecture we left for our home. She had some work so she left for the market place. I wanted to accompany her. One thing i liked about her was she was very bubbly in nature. I mean she was so much fun that i would always loved to have her company always.

The next day in the lecture there was another guy who was kind of getting closer to her. I felt like smashing his face. I was for the first time jealous. lecture went by and we as always were talking the way we always did. I had taken down her number and she also took mine. So our conversation continued even after we were done with our lectures.It was one of the most wonderful time i was having with her. I loved talking to her. Being with her. She was definitely a good friend of mine. But i had thought of something more than that. The sense of being with her was wonderful . I always enjoyed her company.

As every morning it used to happen i came to the lecture . It hadnt  started at that time . So i kept waiting for supriya . The faculty arrived , my other friends arrived , but she didnt come. My heart beats went up. I dont know why , i was very anxious. Mobile phones were a trend those days. But i didnt had one. Of course i was not a earning member of my  family . I didnt want to put extra expense on my parents. This thing frustrated me further as i couldnt even call her. Damn it. I decided to concentrate on the lecture . I kept listening to the concept as they were important. But her absence was still running in background i really was not able to control my anxiety. And suddenly the door opened . It was her.  I couldnt control the happiness that came on my face. I was equally angry at her as well because it was like she made me wait for a long time.  Was it love ? Love at first sight ? I dont know i said this to myself. I just left it with time. It was just a start to my career and i dont know if it was the right thing to do. But liking someone is not bad. Its not a crime atleast :-p.

I wanted to ask her if she was single.  I didnt know how to ask. My immaturity was showing up on me. I just didnt know where i was heading but i was going out of control. Not at all concentrating on my goals simply getting distracted. Probably there was a learning inside this but i was not able to get it. The attraction to her was something i was not able to stop at all. Each time used to get inside the books i could see her face. It was just she was not going away from me. I felt crazy

One fine day after the lecture we decided to walk to the nearest bus station as we both had some work . Our destinations luckily were the same. As i was walking with her. I finally very bluntly asked her ” Are you single ? ” . She said ” No i have a boyfriend and we plan to marry very soon .”  By the way one thing about her i didnt mention here that she was in her final year of her college just about to finish. Lets not get into details of why she joined the course.

After hearing that one statement , i completely felt devastated. I just didnt react any which ways. I felt everything was finished. Just did not know what to do. That day i finished my work and got back home. I was not doing great . And everyone could observe it. Just that i did not say anything. All i decided that i will not speak to her ever. I wouldnt call her. I wouldnt talk to her. In fact i felt a bit sick that day and decided to skip the lecture.

I just picked up my phone and called the faculty ” Sir i am not feeling well and i wouldnt be able to make it for lecture tomorrow. ”  . ” Ok no worries , just take rest and we will see how we can cover the back log ” He said and i hung up.

That day in evening my phone rang again and i picked it up ” Hello Sam ! “. It was her how can i forget her voice. ” . I just wanted to avoid her . Why did she call me ? I asked myself i wanted to get away from her. And she was coming near me. “Hey Hi ! ” I said . ” What happened you not sounding good today ? Is everything ok ” I said ” I am not doing good i think i have some fever and would not come to lecture tomorrow. ” .

” Take a crocin rest for the night and let me know tomorrow , but do come ” She said. I asked myself when i am getting away from something why i am coming back to the samething. It was just becoming circle of life. I decided to tell her everything . What i thought about her. Atleast this way my anxiety would get over. And my mind would be monkey.

The next day i made it to the lecture some how. I was still not good thought . Not the usual me . The way i used to be. And every one observed. My Faculty was quite surprised seeing me . ” Sam i thought you were well . You should have taken some rest and get back. ” . ” I am fine . I took some rest last night and since i was better this morning i came ” I said.

” ok . If you feel you are not doing good do let me know .” He said . Supriya was sitting across me with a smile she waved hand towards me and said i slowly . With hand indications she asked ” How are you doing ? ” . I just showes thumbs up and indicated i am good. It was break and i came to her and told her ” Supriya i would like to talk to you about something ” . She said ” ok i think the break is a bit short so we can talk post lecture ” . I said ” Fine “.

After the lecture got over we remain seated for sometime in the classroom as they dont close the rooms so soon. I said ” Listen what i am about to tell you its quite likely that you might not like it. However this is how i feel about you. When i saw for the first time in the classroom i fell for you. I know it might sound crazy but this is how it is. I loved spending time with you. I liked your company and nature always. But the day you told me that you are not single i was kind of devastated and thats the reason i was avoiding you. But since i didnt want to hurt you i didnt tell you all this . After this its upto you to decide whether you want to talk to me or not.”

The moment was over. I had said it. I felt so light at that time that i couldnt even feel myself. But it was very good feeling. My head was not heavy any more with fever.

She waited for a moment. Then came near me . I was actually ready for slap to be honest but she came near me and kissed me on my cheeks and said ” Sam you are so sweet. And you have been very honest with your talks which is what i like about you. And by the way you dont need to be devastated because you havent lost me. We have been good friends and we will always remain good friends. You are wonderful person . Though i am not single but  you will get a better girl than me.  And let me tell u you are my best friend “.

This gave me the feeling of being the most wonderful person in the word. My course of attraction was over. I found the best friend in a person whom i loved. So what if i could be with her always but she is always going to be my best friend.

The thing that i learnt was we have a soulmate made for us. But it should naturally get attracted to us rather than we forcing things. When we force things we end up having accidents in our lives. A naural progression towards a relation creates a successfull relationship.  And thats what we need to always look at.

Shwetal – An Avid writer

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